Have You Ever Had A Goal In Your Life That You Keep Putting Off? Saying ‘Monday’ Almost Cost Me Everything I Ever Cared About…
I want to take you back to 2016, it’s a bright sunny day in St Albans and the sky is blue, the grass freshly cut and a few mums pottering about in the park. There I am chasing after my young son Dominic who can barely run and I soon find myself shouting out at him ‘Dom come here! Stop… I said STOP NOW!’
Grasping for air and hands on my knees, I glance to the right and I notice some mums staring over which made me feel embarrassed because I couldn’t keep up with a small child, to think that I would ever be in this position was a hard pill to swallow since I was regarded at the countries foremost Personal Trainer in the past. The sandwiches, lack of exercise, take aways and wine had finally caught up with me.
After this, I really didn’t want to take him to the park anymore because I was slightly scarred by the experience of being unable to do what a Dad should, have quality time with his son and it all felt too hard because I barely had any energy. Dominic kept asking me to go to back to the park and I would come up with a reason why I couldn’t…
‘Daddy is working’
‘Daddy is busy’
‘Daddy is tired’
One afternoon when I was on the couch after working feeling exhausted and stressed out, I will never forget what my son said…
‘Daddy no love dom-ic’
I wanted to laugh because he can’t even say his name and yet I wanted to cry because I was letting my son down. So I went through a huge denial, telling myself as long as I made money I am a good Dad, the lies that I had built around myself to protect me from the fact that I wasn’t showing up for my family.
A man is supposed to focus all of his time and energy on making money even to his own detriment, at least that’s what my Dad thought me, right?
The truth is that my son wasn’t the only one was missing out, my relationship with my wife wasn’t on great terms either because of the frustration I had around my body image and confidence. Even though I knew she loved me, I was beginning to wonder if she even found me attractive anymore since my sex life was just fond memories.
Around a week later I was walking to the local newsagents when I saw an old friend from the gym, Sonny. Walking around with his flared lats he says ‘Stef, is that you?’ I hadn’t seen him in years and to be honest I was kind of embarrassed to see him this way.
I said ‘How are you mate, what are you doing here?’
He ignores the question and he says ‘what happened to you? you used to be so lean and muscular… you are getting old mate!’
He then punches me in the belly which made me feel about as tall as an ant. The rest of the conversation I can’t even recall because I was having my own dialogue in my head, tearing myself down even further because I felt like there was no hope for me. At that point I realised something…
I Settled For Being Average & Was Failing As A Man…
I wasn’t taking care of myself and was making excuses about waiting for the right time or telling myself that I’ll start ‘tomorrow’. It became clear to me that I needed to put myself first to really be the man my family deserves, I was taking my health for granted and was deeply unhappy about it all because my confidence was at an all time low.
I knew that I had to take back control of my life and that if I didn’t change, I was opening myself up to chronic health conditions because diabetes runs in my family and my Dad had a heart attack at 55 due to an unhealthy lifestyle because he lived completely out of balance.
So what do you do when you feel motivated? You join a gym! I went for my induction and then I never went back because the reality was that I was too embarrassed to go and start all over again, nobody likes to face the music because it’s just added pain into your life.
I had the desire to change but I was overwhelmed at how much work I had to do to get back to the old me. I wanted results NOW as comparing myself to the old me made me feel smaller and only lead to more self sabotage (giving up, eating bad food, drinking) and putting things off…
I Lost The Belief That Things Could Be Any Different In My Life…
I was so attached to the identity and stories of why I couldn’t changes that nothing I did worked, that was until I saw my son do something incredible.
We were on holiday in Turkey on an island to island boat trip and he wanted to drive the boat we were on, me sitting there with my t-shirt sweaty and uncomfortable but happy to hide my belly, I said ‘you can’t do that, only the captain can drive the boat’
But of course he didn’t let go, with kids a no makes them more determined! I thought I would teach him a lesson by letting him get shot down himself because Daddy knows best.
1 minute later, I glance over and I couldn’t believe my eyes, he was driving the damn boat! WHAT? It’s interesting because my son didn’t have any baggage, he didn’t have any stories or limitations in his head and he simply took action, he wanted something and he did what he had to do to get it.
He ignored the challenges I placed in front of him and simply took ACTION to get what he wanted, it was a simple but powerful lesson that left me totally inspired.
Something inside of me clicked that day, clarity had finally entered my life and I realised only person holding me back from creating the health, energy, confidence and future I wanted was me and only me. I had to let go of the past, the stories and the excuses I was making or nothing would ever change for me!
Enough was enough, I needed to fully commit, stop dabbling and go all in and face my pain (even if it was hard) because I realised the cost of retreat was too great.
I sat down and created a plan of action, implementing everything I knew about health, fitness and mind set and I was surprised to see I had lost 1 stone in just 30 days which was the beginning of my transformation, all that knowledge as a life coach and Personal Training for more than 14 years (then, now 16 years +) showed it’s true value once I was consistent and implemented what I thought works best without giving up whenever it got hard because I had found my purpose again.
Fast forward 90 days, I had lost over 10 KG and was feeling incredible, I felt like I had got back to my prime again and documenting my journey, I soon realised that I had created a system, a step by step blueprint that any Dad could implement to get similar results.
The Ultimate Dad Method
This System Has Not Only Given Me Better Health, Energy & Body Confidence… It’s Given Back My Family The Man & Dad I Needed To Be.
Since 2016, I’ve been super busy exclusively Coaching busy Dads to drop 10-20 KG in 90 days to become confident role models for their family with the UDT Method… without starving themselves, counting calories or spending hours in the gym.
I’m not another ‘fitness guru’ trying to make a quick buck or to sell you a quick fix, I am a Dad just like you who understands our challenges and how to overcome them and finally win, in fact becoming overweight has been a blessing because by helping myself it gave me the opportunity to help others change their lifestyle for long term, sustainable results.
The UDT system provides a unique approach to life changing transformation and has helped 100’s of Dads to lose a significant amount of weight, reduce their diabetes medication, come off statins, overcome anxiety, depression and poor self esteem.
I truly believe that as Ultimate Dads, role models and leaders, we should be able to play with our kids until we are old and be an incredible role model, that our wives find us more attractive than anyone else in the world, that we have confidence in ourselves and to walk around without a t-shirt on, that we can kick-butt at work and make more money, be respected by our peers and that our health and energy will always be there to support us.
I also believe that the quality of our lives, the happiness fulfilment and joy we experience is possible as long as we stop making excuses and simply take action using a proven process, you can truly achieve anything if you make a decision to change and I know this because I have experienced this myself to achieve an incredible marriage, business and life.
This Is My ‘Before & After’ Transformation
This Is Why Every Dad Must Be A Better Role Model & Leader
[THE TRUTH REVEALED] From the height of my career to depression and almost ending my life, here is my personal story of what inspired the UDT Method many years back, a complete physical and mental transformation to be the ultimate role model and leader for the people we love. Warning, this video is pretty raw and honest…
Are You Ready To Take Back Control Of Your Life & Actually Show Up For Your Family?
I’m Stefano Chiriaco, an award-winning Personal Coach and mentor to 1000’s of Dads and I want to help you to discover a better you and a better life for you and your family. I have had my own TV show on SKY (Kettlebell Training), been mentored by some of the best functional fitness coaches in the world such as Steve Cotter (IKFF) and the late Angie Dowds (The Biggest Loser) and been recognised internationally through my sponsorship and role as ‘Hero & Brand Ambassador’ for Ultimate Sports Nutrition (2009-2011).
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